Jack In The Box
by Sheryl Rieling
Just great. Another day, another person trying to kill me. And what's with these little boxes? Six foot four is not conducive to squeezing into a breadbox.
"Hey, you know that, 'We come in peace' thing? Bite me."
Note to self. Keep your smart mouth shut when sitting in an electrified cage with a megalomaniac controlling the juice.
What was that? You want to know what a wormhole is? I suppose I could go into the technical description, if I understood it that is. I could explain the purpose of the SGC and our mission. I could tell them that we're peaceful travelers again. That worked out real well a few minutes ago. Aw hell…
"Worms. Huge worms."
"Okay, so maybe it wasn't the brightest thing I've ever said, but it sure felt good… right up to the point where they zap me. Yeah, pal. Let me outta this box for half a minute and we'll see who's in charge. This is this planets best example of a military leader? And I thought the earth had troubles.
They're taking Daniel now. Isn't that just special? Whenever we gate to a new place, he's always the first picked. We never know if he's going to get married or beaten to a pulp. Well, I don't have to guess this time. The kid's getting the crap beat out of him for sure. Poor helpful, Daniel. He just can't grasp the dark side of human nature.
He doesn't understand that this 'commander,' and I'll use that term loosely, isn't interested in the truth. He's a fanatic and I've seen his kind before, in Iraq.
Sam and Daniel just keep trying to be helpful and cooperate. They don't get it. There's no cooperating with a lunatic who believes that god is on his side. You just sit back and let them do their worst because nothing you do is going to convince them. God knows I gave pints of blood for Allah back in that Iraqi prison.
They're back and the kid's still standing. I'll take my little victories where I get them.
More good news. A soldier's been killed. Teal'c's alive! Way to go Teal'c! Help is on the way! That's right, Danny, just keep hard lining him. Don't give our buddy away. The buddy you save is the buddy who saves you.
Sam! Damn! They zatted her! You bastards! At least she didn't hit the walls of the box.
Uh oh. My turn. I hope this doesn't hur…..
LATER
We made it home, again. There's a lot to be said for just making it home. I'm also supremely pleased that Teal'c didn't shoot me in that alien shuttle. That would have ruined my day for sure.
At least Junior is kicking in now. I have to admit; the big guy didn't look so good there for a while. I'm glad we made it home in one piece, thanks in no small part to Nayem.
Nayem. Now there's another story. This kid is almost an exact replica of Jackson when I first met him and we know how much fun that was.
Looks like we're going to have another dweeb running around the place. Just what we need. More scientists trying to explain stuff to us lesser mortals. More techno babble and wide-eyed looks. More … well … more … Daniel?
I'm beginning to think that we were safer on the planet.
Think I can have my box back?
~finis~