The Shopping Trip: Another Perspective
by Sheryl Rieling
"Whose stupid idea was this anyway?"
O'Neill asked himself the question for the fiftieth time as he watched Daniel
fairly bouncing up and down with excitement as they came within sighting
distance of Sam's Club.
"Do you think they have a calligraphy section?" Daniel asked.
No doubt about it. The kid liked shopping. Jack mentally checked off the
top five most annoying ways he could be spending his weekend. Yep, shopping
topped the list immediately preceded by listening to a lecture about - well -
anything scientific.
Jack yanked the wheel hard to the left, slipping into a spot only marginally
vacated by the small Toyota Corolla driven by a young man who was now
gesturing wildly out the window.
"See that, Daniel. These teenagers should never be driving. They have no
respect!"
"Uh - Jack, do you think you should have - uh -- done that? After all, he's
only a kid."
"Do what?"
"Never mind, lets just go inside. I need to check out their stationery
section and I need to pick up a few things."
Jack snagged a cart from the corral and started pushing it towards the
electronic doors completely ignoring the cars stopping short as he made his
way through the parking lot.
He displayed his card for the door attendant and proceeded to the far left
corner of the store. "Okay, let's see your list."
Jackson spun around. "List?"
"Yeah. A list of what you want?" He shook his head in disgust, "No list?"
"Not everything requires a strategic plan, Jack. Sometimes you just go aisle
by aisle and -"
"Ah!" The ever ready finger put in its inevitable appearance. "Everything
needs a plan! Have you seen the size of this store? We could be here for
hours without a plan. Now you take the first aisle--"
Daniel grabbed the cart, "Look, you go ahead. I'll be right behind you."
"You'll be right behind me?"
"Go!"
Jack ambled off, stopping periodically to look behind him. By the end of the
second aisle, he felt like he had a killer case of whiplash. By the
beginning of the seventh he knew he was defeated. They had been in the store
less than half an hour and he had lost the easily distracted archeologist
three times. Charlie at his worst terrible-twos phase hadn't had that bad a
track record. Daniel seemed to have the attention span of the proverbial
toddler, wandering off after any bright colored display leaving Jack to seek
him out when he needed to put his acquisitions in the cart.
"I need to hang a bell around his neck," he muttered as he balanced the
coffee can atop the other provisions he was struggling with. "Actually, what
I need is the cart! Daniel, where the hell are you?"
// One hour later - Checkout //
"This, is a few things????" Jack looked with disgust a Jackson's pile of
items. "How are you going to use 500 mechanical pencils?"
"I'm always losing them. This way I won't run out."
"Then what's the electric pencil sharpener for?" He asked, dreading the
answer.
"For the old fashioned pencils I have at home."
"Oh, for crying out loud! How do you explain this?" Jack held up a five
pound wedge of cheese. "Planning on hosting a lot of mice?"
Jackson pushed up his glasses. "I like cheese -- alot."
"Hope so," muttered Jack.
"What?"
"Nothing. What say we grab some coffee before meeting Sam and Teal'c?"
"That sounds great, Jack." Daniel said as they arrived at the conveyor.
"Here's my wallet. You pay for my stuff and I'll pull the car around."
Before Jack could utter a word, Daniel grabbed the keys and left for the
parking lot leaving Jack with the unpleasant task of trying to unload and
sort the various provisions. He segregated his supplies from Daniel's and
handed the cashier his card. After paying for his purchases, Jack took a box
from the spare bins and began loading the other mans supplies as the cashier
rang them up.
"That will be $42.15."
Jack opened the wallet and thumbed through the bills inside. A five and
three ones. Daniel had left him $8.00 to pay for a $42.00 order. He pulled
out his own wallet and handed the young cashier a fifty dollar bill. As he
waited for his change, he began planning a certain archeologists demise. He
could always tell Hammond that they lost Daniel in the woods.
Daniel was parked at the curb when Jack arrived at the jeep with the laden
cart. He watched through narrowed eyes as the other man jumped out of the
drivers seat and opened the rear door.
"Need some help, Jack?"
"Yeah, with basic math!" He tossed Daniel's wallet at him. "You owe me forty
bucks." Jack loaded the jeep and stalked around to the drivers side,
ignoring the dumbfounded man.
"But I gave you my--" he rooted in the wallet. "Oh."
"Yeah," said Jack. "Oh."
Daniel climbed into the passenger side and dug in his pockets, pulling out a
handful of crumpled bills. He separated two twenties and handed them to
Jack. "Sorry about that."
Jack gingerly took the crumpled bills, shaking his head at the condition of
Alexander Hamilton's visage on the wrinkled twenties. "You know, if you put
them in your wallet you'll know how much money you're carrying."
"Yeah, sure," said Jackson as he stuffed the remaining bills back in his
pocket. "I'll have to do that."
Hands resting on the steering wheel, Jack sat there staring at Daniel in
exasperation. "You're kidding, right?"
"What?"
"Nothing."
Jack gave up and put the car in gear. Coffee was a better idea than arguing
with Daniel.
//Dunkin Donuts - Drive through //
"A large coffee, Daniel, you want anything?" Jack inquired.
He pointed to a poster colorfully declaring that Coollattas were now
available. "I want that. What flavors do they have?"
The drive through attendant, hearing the question leaned out and said,
"Coffee, chocolate, cherry, grape, lemon, orange and mango."
"Mango!"
Jack was mid sip of his coffee and began sputtering as the attendant
confirmed the order. "Mango? You ordered mango?"
"I like mangos and it sounds fun."
"It sounds weird! Leave it to you to order the one weird flavor they offer!"
"Mangos aren't weird, they're exotic."
Jack rolled his eyes, "Celine Dion is exotic! A mango slurpee is weird!"
Daniel took a sip of the dull orange drink. "It's delicious! Taste it!"
"No thanks, I'm driving."
"If that's what you call it."
"What??"
"Nothing." ::slurp::
~fin~