Senseless
by Pho
As Cascade's New Year's masquerade galas went, it was a pretty standard affair. Entirely too many of Cascade's elite packed much too closely together, loud, blaring noise in the guise of music, conversation and fireworks - of all shapes and sizes- and obscene amounts food and alcohol, generously dispersed around the room. All in all it was an event the Sentinel ... and his Guide ... would have preferred missing. But, time, tide and jewel thieves take no note of personal desires. So it was that *all* of Cascade's Major Crimes Division were attending the party, incognito.
The tall knight munched on crackers and cheese as he patted the smaller jester with a gloved hand, mumbling. "'lx, Chief, hv sm frt."
"Is that a wise-crack about my *costume*, Jim?" The bells on the jester's cap jingled merrily as the annoyed anthropologist swung his head to glare at his friend.
Jim Ellison swallowed quickly and pointed at the crystal bowl filled to overflowing with apples, grapes, bananas, mangos and oranges. "No, it was an invitation to 'relax and have some fruit.'"
Blair shook his head, listening in annoyance to the bells as he replied. "Thanks, but no. And shouldn't I be the one telling you to relax? You hate these things."
"Could you be more specific?"
"The costume, the party, the whole thing..." Blair brushed his hair out of his eyes and stared in confusion at his friend. "*You* were the one that spent three hours trying to talk Simon out of sending us."
"Me."
"What?"
"Tried to talk him out of sending me. Told him I wouldn't be any good here, but he insisted. But I wouldn't dream of depriving you of the company of some of Cascade's wealthiest and most beautiful women."
"Who won't take a second look at me in this ... costume. Whose idea was this anyway?"
Ellison turned toward the center of the room where the band was starting up another set. "Luck of the draw, Sandburg. Fortunately you have the legs for that outfit."
"Keep your day job, Ellison. You'll flop at the comedy house." Blair replied with a sigh as a tall, barely dressed blond passed within three feet of the anthropologist without a look in his direction. A drink-laden tray that floated by, seemingly on its own, quickly caught his attention. Closer scrutiny revealed a small handle being skillfully controlled by a young waitress who was unable to control a giggle at the sight of the jester. Blair groaned. "Oh, man, even the help is laughing at me."
Jim slapped Blair's hand as he reached for a small glass with an olive in it. "None for you, we're on duty."
"I *need* it."
"Have some punch."
"Don't like strawberry punch."
"Have some anyway."
Blair's retort died in his throat as he realized Jim wasn't looking at him. "Jim? You got something?"
"Maybe." Jim moved deliberately toward the stage. "Stay here, Sandburg."
"What? ... No way, man." Blair started after his friend, only to find that he couldn't make it through the crowd. "Excuse me ... coming through ... I need ... Umph!" Blair gasped slightly as he bounced off of something soft. "Oh, I, uh, I'm very sorry, ma'am." Blushing furiously, he tore his eyes away from the cleavage shown by a very tall, well-endowed matron. "I'm trying..."
A heavy hand impacted his cheek. "So. I. See." The furious woman turned on her heels and stalked off through the crowd.
"Oh, man ... that was sooo not good." Blair rubbed his face gingerly as he twirled around trying to find his partner, only to discover that he simply could not see over the throng. "Dammit, is every tall person in Cascade here tonight?"
"Watch where you're swinging that thing, munchkin!" An angry Keystone Cop used his plastic baton to knock Blair's jester's cap to the floor.
"Hey!" Blair dove for the floor to recover the cap. "I'm not a munchkin, I'm a jester. Don't you know... OUCH!" Wrenching his hat and fingers out from under a size thirteen shoe, Blair's eyes watered as he counted his digits. As his double vision cleared, he slowly stood back up, noting as he did so that his fingers weren't broken. Heck, the cap wasn't even torn. Goody. He could put it back on. Stuffing his aching fingers in his mouth, he aimed for a small staircase near a window, hoping that the vantage point would show him his Sentinel.
Easing himself around a rope barrier, Blair climbed the steps, stood on his tiptoes and worried. Jim had disappeared into the crowd and was probably tracking the thief. For the Sentinel not to notice his guide's distress, Blair knew the older man had to be really focused. A zone-out was not out of the question and the frantic young anthropologist was terrified that he wouldn't find Jim in time.
A handsome face topped by the garish colors of a pimp's hat caught Blair's attention and he realized he'd found Rafe. And where Rafe was, H... Yep, H was a couple of yards away and focused on Rafe's back. Wait, there was Simon. And Megan. 'Hail, hail, the gang's all here', he muttered irritably to himself. Looked like all of them, including his own errant knight, he noted with relief, were in the process of surrounding a modestly dressed Casanova.
So intent was the young observer on watching the criminal's takedown that he failed to notice the end-of-the-year countdown. The raucous screams of the crowds combined with the 'Police, freeze' and then the world ended in a cacophony of light and sound as the fireworks flashed in the window and the loudspeaker over his head screamed: "Three, two, one... HAPPY NEW YEAR!"
******
Blair leaned a weary head against the passenger window of Jim's truck and groaned softly. "I'm glad you got the guy."
"You okay?" Jim asked in concern. "You look a little ... frazzled."
The younger man opened a solitary, bloodshot eye. "Tonight was *awful*. *Everything* hurts. My head, my eyes, my ears, my fingers. Hell, even my nose hurts."
"Your nose?" Jim frowned. "Someone punched you?"
"I should be so lucky. "No, while the rest of you were wrapping up, someone insisted I try the lemon pepper shrimp and they went down the wrong way and came back up..."
"Say no more. I get the picture."
"Yeah, well so did my taste buds. They had *garlic* on them, too. Way too potent."
"Glad I missed them." The truck started easily as the older man spoke.
"You should be..." Blair paused, prying open both eyes to stare suspiciously at his partner. "Jim, why aren't you in pain?"
"Huh?"
"There were entirely too many stimuli here tonight for your senses. Why didn't any of them spike? Why didn't you zone? Are you *sure* you're all right?"
"I'm fine, Chief, I had the dials turned down to the negative numbers. Didn't sense a thing all night."
The End