Eye of the Beholder
by Pho
She's gone. Gone through the 'gate. To oblivion, I hope, but I doubt that I'm that lucky. I find it hard to believe how close we came to utter disaster in just a few short hours - or was it days? I don't know. The computer will have the right time or I could ask one of the women. Amazing that only the female of the species was able to see through and resist Hathor's charms. Not that I'm discounting Teal'c's efforts, but that infant Goa'uld of his counters a great number of ills, and Hathor's breathe was apparently one of them.
Her breathe. So soft and warm on my skin, such a delightfully sensual feeling as its effects spread throughout my body making me her slave. Me and every other man at the SGC. Man? Ha! What a joke. Try a spineless worm with no self-control, no self-respect, no gumption at all. Turned in a moment of laxness into her obedient servant, totally willing to destroy anyone who stood in her way. If it hadn't been for the women...
I, of all people, should have recognized the threat, but no, I fell prey to her physical beauty long before she captured my soul. The long red hair, the expressive eyes in that delicate face, looking so..so utterly harmless and alone in the holding cell. I have to face it. I failed. I failed to see the threat. I completely misread her purpose, her desires. I failed to do my job, and as a result, the base was compromised. Compromised - a fancy word meaning absolute failure. With control of the Stargate, Hathor could have done ... anything.
A shiver runs up my spine as I imagine the scenarios. Norad overrun. Every male entering the SGC condemned to be prisoners in their own minds as they fall victim to Hathor's ... charms. Then forced to become her Jaffa, nurturing her vile offspring. Some would stay to service her needs, while the rest would be sent far and wide in search of new ... recruits for her army. Preying on the homeless, on those who would not be missed. And every woman entering the SGC either killed outright or kept alive only to fulfill some obscene need of that red-headed bitch. Or those of her Jaffa. And through it all, I would have stood loyally by her side, following her every command, so far lost to reason that I truly believed that everything she did was right. With absolutely no desire to resist her.
That's what hurts the most. It hurts so badly that it's almost a physical pain. I couldn't resist. Didn't even want to resist. Wanted only to serve her, to please her, any way I could. Dammit, it doesn't matter that I was only one of many. That every man on this base was her slave, body and soul. I should have been able to resist. I should never have been caught in her trap. I should have known.
Why was it so easy for her to get to me? To control me? To violate my free will? How could I allow her to possess my soul? Was it her beauty? Am I so shallow as to only see the beauty without, while ignoring the evil within? I'd never thought so, but... How could I be so foolish? How could I be so... inept?
I've always felt safe here. Safe from the evils of the world outside the main gate. Safer still from the evils of the universe outside the Stargate. She's changed that. Taken this safe haven and used it for her own purposes. Used *me* for her own purposes. Violated me and changed me forever.
"Here you are."
I don't have to turn around to know what she wants. Her question's obvious even though she fails to give it voice. "I'm fine."
"But you--"
"Will be fine. Thank you." I feel her displeasure as I reply and know she's going to make one last ditch effort.
"You need to rest, General."
"And I will. Dismissed, Doctor." I ought to face her, to let her know that I will get the rest she prescribes. Let her know that a headache and mild concussion are my just rewards for a job badly done. But I can't. For now my eyes are glued to the 'gate, and the thoughts of what might have been.
I've always felt safe here. I wonder if I'll ever feel safe again.
*fin*